Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Heirs Together of the Grace of Life
Beloved
of the Lord……It is somewhat surprising that we live in a world where
every human being has a father, yet our world teaches us daily fathers
are unnecessary, even superfluous. Being indoctrinated, single mothers believe they can do it on their own. Whereas
in the workplace, the father used to be the breadwinner, and it was
understood the wife would stay at home and raise the children,
everything today is topsy-turvy and our world is no better. Children
are raised in confusion, as to the role of their father, or even the
necessity, and foolish women try to rule their own husbands, bringing
God's curse upon their marriage. Similarly fathers bring God's curse upon themselves. Some
are drunkards, adulterers, homosexuals, or lazy slugs who won't lift a
finger to put bread on the table for their own children. Despising their high calling of fatherhood, they call down God's wrath upon themselves.
God's Word alone can sort out all the confusion in this world. God's Word says, "Honor thy father and thy mother, that it may be well with thee." "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." First Timothy five says, "If
any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house,
he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." Godly fathers then are worthy of our praise. In
a world of selfishness and greed where many suffer from want, our
fathers work hard and sacrifice much to put bread on our table, though
it is certainly a struggle in today's economy. Even better, godly fathers see to it that the souls of their children are fed with the Word of God, Jesus, the Bread of Life. When
we as fathers lead our family in prayers and devotion, we teach our
wives and children to pray to and trust in our Heavenly Father above,
who says "Call upon Me in the day of trouble, I will deliver thee and
thou shalt glorify Me." Also when we as fathers
show mercy to our children, we teach them a father's heart, for "the
Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the world." Therefore "Ye HUSBANDS, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your
prayers be not hindered." What does this mean?
While
it is crystal clear from the Scriptures, that in marriage the wife
falls under the authority of the husband, we as husbands must focus on
our own calling, to live with our wives according to knowledge. This means we are to be reasonable with them, not stubborn or headstrong. Luther
said a husband is "to see to it that he treats his wife with tenderness
and reason, so as to spare her and honor her as God's weaker vessel. The
husband too, is an instrument of God; but he is strong, while the wife
is weaker bodily as well as more timid and more easily dispirited. Therefore you should so deal with her and treat her in such a way that she may be able to bear it." WLS 2821 We should then not grumble nor complain about her faults, but charitably overlook them understanding her weakness. Love, gentleness, kindness, and tenderness: such is the behavior God has called us to. A wife is not only to be treasured and held close to your heart, but she is to be treated softly, gently and with mercy. A woman is as God has made her, a gentle creature, unique, beautiful, and different from the man. She is soft and of a more quiet spirit. As Luther said, she more easily hurt or injured by words than we might be. She is the weaker vessel. She is God's wonderful and gracious gift to husbands, and should be handled accordingly. The Bible says men ought "to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church."
Therefore, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it." Christ's love for the Church then was so great, He sacrificed His own body and soul for His Bride, the Church, on the cross. This sacrificial love of Christ then is really the high calling God has called us to in regard to our wife. We should gladly sacrifice our wants and desires for her wants and desires, though this must be done with reason. Our
wife is the queen God has given us in the sacred bond of marriage, and
she is the precious daughter of the King of kings above. Her
heavenly Father is just as powerful and just as great, and He holds us
accountable for how we treat His precious daughter, for whom Christ died
and rose again. This gentle, kind, and loving
way a husband is to thus treat his wife, was explained by the prophet
Nathan who spoke of the great love Uriah had for Bathsheba. Listen closely to these words, and see just how greatly every husband ought to treasure his wife. Nathan said of Uriah, "The poor man
had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and
nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children;
it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his
bosom, and was unto him as a daughter." That is a good description of how a husband is to love and cherish his wife. She is to grow up together with Him and "lay in his bosom", "heirs together of the grace of life."
We
are not then to use our authority over our wife just as we please, but
as Luther said, "You are her husband in order to help, support, and
protect her, not to destroy her." WLS 2821 When
God tells us we are "heirs together of the grace of life" and that our
prayers are not to be hindered, He is telling us not to abuse our
authority. In other words, if we are cruel and mean husbands, why should God hear our prayers? "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil." Our faith then as God's children includes repentance of our sins against our spouse. By
no means do we believe God will take us to heaven because we are good
husbands, rather by His grace alone will he take us to heaven, though we
have been evil husbands, for "by grace ye are saved, through faith, and
that not of yourselves it is a gift of God not of works lest any man
should boast." Our boast is the Lord, Christ Jesus our Savior, our Mediator. By Him alone God hears our prayers.
Of course not all wives are the same. Some are more meek and quiet, and some are not so meek nor quiet. Nevertheless
the Christian wife does know and love Jesus as her Savior, and by that
faith she will desire to be a good and obedient and loving wife. That alone is an immense blessing to us, in spite of whatever faults she might have. Thus we must learn to overlook her faults, as we desire she overlook our own. After all both husband and wife would be lost to damnation, had not Christ come to cover our sins with His grace. How thankful we can then be we are saved by grace alone through faith. While
marriage is a type of cross, in that each spouse must suffer from the
sins of the other, as Christ by love bore His cross for our sake, so we
for His sake gladly bear our crosses in marriage. When
there is genuine forgiveness, love and mercy in marriage, we show the
world by word and deed, the great love Christ had for His Church. First Peter 4:8 says, "Above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins."
But how now do we honor our wife, "as unto the weaker vessel." This is done by word and deed. When
our children argue or quarrel with their mother rather than obey, we
defend the honor of their mother by rebuking our children. We teach our children "To honor your mother is to obey her and not quarrel….. fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:" Proverbs 29 says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." And "He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach." We can also honor our wives before the world who despises the high calling of motherhood. When
our wives are discouraged by the constant drumbeat of the world which
slanders and defames motherhood as if it is the lowliest job, we can
honor our wives and mothers by saying, "God has given you a much higher
calling than CAREER, He has called you to be a mother of these blessed
children. Don't listen to those blind women who are leading the blind, "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Finally we can honor our wives by special deeds of kindness and love. Flowers are nice and gifts, but sometimes she just needs help around the house. The smallest deed sometimes gives the greatest relief.
We must also protect and defend our wives from the fiery darts of the devil. Since
husbands represent Christ in our marriage, we must direct the penitent
heart of our wives to Jesus, the dear Redeemer of every wife. When
Satan accuses her and reminds her of sin, we preach Christ crucified to
her, and remind her she has been justified by Jesus' blood. In God's eyes she is white as snow, and in her baptism God washed her clean. By the same, God has reserved a place for our dear wife in heaven, and heaven is a place of rest.
Finally beloved of the Lord, find your strength to be a good husband and father, in the Lord. You know well by way of sin, we are miserable failures at being good husbands or fathers. We fall short, far short of the glory of God. Yet because Jesus is our own Brother of flesh and blood, yet also very God, we need not be overwhelmed by our sins. Jesus has put away each and every sin, and almost as good, Jesus will help us to do better. Therefore dear husbands or fathers, do not be afraid to lead and direct the family God has given you. As
Christ your good Shepherd leads you through the valley of death unto
life everlasting, lead your family to heaven with the rod and staff of
God's Word. Do not be afraid to show your wife and children the great love of Jesus, by holding them close to your heart. Just as children need to be held and touched in a gentle fatherly way, so your wife must be gently held and touched. And
just as it is the love of Christ, His mercy, His forgiveness which
breaks your hardened heart and makes it soft, so your love and mercy and
forgiveness of your wife will break her hardness and make her soft,
filled with love for you. Hold her close and love her. She is even now a precious lamb in the arms of her Good Shepherd, and she is the daughter of THE KING, and her HEAVENLY FATHER. And
if she is so dear to her King and Father above, how dear should she be
to you, for your King and Father above, gave her to you in the sacred
bond of marriage. Together you are heirs together of the grace of life. Through sickness and death, together you will be forever with the Lord, together forever in heaven. "Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like-minded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Amen.
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